love never forgoten
by yami ruri
Summary: pg-13 for suicide thinking and language(mostly first chapter),bakura leaves ryou one day and ryou doesn't know why,as he goes to find bakura for an reason for his leaving he finds out that he's not the only one with the same problems and insecurities
1. when this began,I had nothing to say

> **me:hikari..............sight I love you and this is for you.................I will work more on it tomorrow(I hope),I love you TT I miss you so badly.  
ruri:have mercy on her cause this is her first time,and just in case.........she doesn't yawn owns yugioh,for if she did then she would be MUCH happier   
  
It was right after a fight,the whole mess started right after that,ryou always alone wanted nothing but to be loved and once he found that special someone,he didn't want to let him go "bakura,I want you so badly but for the first time my father has forbidden me seeing someone,why?why did it have to be you?"ryou said to himself as he watched the rain outside his window.**  
**"Oh bakura,if only you knew how much I want to talk to you,to kiss you,to hear your voice once more but after that fight we had last week"   
(flashback)   
"but why?why can't we be together?"ryou forgetting that his father was home for once,was yelling at the person on the other side of the phone line "ryou we just can't" the voice on the other line was cold and eventhou he was trying as hard to hide his sorrow ryou could tell that he was having a hard time keeping himself together.**  
**"bakura,my love......if you leave then....."ryou was sobbing so hard that the words were hard to pronounce and he felt like he was drowning in his own tears,"then you'll what?!"bakura said the words as if he tried not to be too concerned,"then...I'll kill myself"ryou at that point couldn't hold it in any longer and started crying harder than he ever had in his life,he truly loved bakura and was willing to die for him,"listen,I don't need any blood on my hands,so if you do then don't expect me to be sorry"he said it in his usual tone but ryou knew he was lying "and as far as I'm concerned,we're over",with that last sentence ryou felt like his heart broke,like someone had ripped it out of him,then chopped it up in little pieces,put it on a blender till it was nothing more than a pile of mushthe incinerated and then they tried to put it back as if nothing had happened,the words that came out of his mouth didn't matter anymore,ryou knew that he was yelling and sobbing but he didn't know which words were coming out of his mouth,it really didn't matter to him anymore bakura had killed him,maybe not phisically but mentally he butchered him unmercilessly,thats when ryou's father steeped in,ryou heard a knock on the door and panicked,he was caught and he couldn't hide before he knew it he was off the phone thanks to his father and him forcing ryou to tell him things that he knew he couldn't trust his father with,in the end ryou's father won and he got everything out of ryou,demanding that he didn't cry ryou's father told him the worst thing he could have said at that moment "you are forbidden to ever speak to him ever again",then after that he left ryou's room and ryou tried to fall asleep but found it impossible,the hours past and they seemed like the worst torture,in his mind ryou was trying to remember all the good things that him and kura had done and said,in his mind he played the song that bakura sang to him over and over again trying to bring bakura closer anyway possible,the taught of suicide becoming better by the moment but his energy to get out of bed was not there.  
(end of flashback)  
"if I had had the energy that night....then I wouldn't be here today"he talked mostly to himself after that night and the maids were starting to think that he was losing it "maybe I am losing it,so what if I am?!?!,they don't know anything about me,so how can they even think of labeling me?",he opened the drawer were he keep his most personal things and took out a box,inside it there was a picture that was taken right before his break up with bakura,it was a group pic of him and the two psychos, malik and marik "how I survived that day is beyond my knowledge"(a/n:can you blame me for putting that?lol) just as he was putting it back on his box,ryou noticed something he hadn't seen before,it was a letter with ryou's name in the envelope "a letter?when have I?wait...this isn't my hand writting!"he opened it to find out that bakura had written it before the fight "well this is....odd......bakura never wrote anything for me before"  
to ryou's surprise it was not only directed to him but also bakura had a nice calligraphy (O.O wow)  
my koi  
if you find this then that means that I did a lousy job in hiding it,I know we are goin to have a fight soon and that I'm going to leave, please don't do anything stupid to yourself (you know what I'm talking about), don't worry I will return someday,I just can't have you know at this moment the reason why I haveto leave,well not now at least.  
please wait for me,no matter what happens,no matter if I break a promisse,please don't hate me,please don't leave me.  
look at me,the once "great tomb robber" begging a chibi for something that he probably won't understand,oh well......please ryou,if you find this.....then please wait for me and don't hate me if something goes wrong along the way.  
your koi  
bakura  
tears were running down ryou's cheek as he finished reading the letter "oh kura,how could you ever believe I could hate you?" he folded the letter and put it back on the envelope and hid it in his back pack,so no one would find it and tear it up.  
  
me:ok thats it,I can't take this anymore,I feel like puking and I bet everyone that read this is feeling the same,so I'll update once I am feeling better  
ruri:for everyone out there,please forgive her....she is stupid and-  
me:hey!!!! what do you mean stupid?!?!  
ruri: ignore her,like I was saying,she also has a cold and is in love,so given all those factors I would suggest that everyone runs for cover,bye  
me:"_ignore her"_ she says,well lets see if you ignore me once I have a knife on my hands,umm for everyone thats not her,please read and review,and kusabana.....happy b-day and I will try and update soon(I will also try not to suck as much ) and before I forget,don't forget to IM me and tell me how things went and remember you told me you wouldn't (you know what I'm talking about)  
**


	2. and I get lost in the nothingness inside...

  
me:ok,you wanted this so here,the next chapter,and don't ask me to update until friday(I think)I don't know my own schedule,thats sad VV  
  
days past and ryou was still in a depressed state,made only worse by his friends that "care"too much,everyone seemed to want ryou to tell them things,something that before wasn't a big deal had turned to the biggest issue ever,"RA how I wish that marik would destroy something,so they would stop paying attention to me"he was talking to himself again as he walked torwards marik's house,if someone could help him find bakura that someone would have to be malik,"maybe this time it won't be so bad,maybe they won't chase me around with the hatchet like last time,one can only dream".  
ryou's pov  
I reach the house of the psychos and I'm ready to die for my cause,which is something that will probably happen once I go in sightbakura used to protect me from those two  
(flashback)  
"malik"bakura screamed at the blond egyptian,"how many times do I have to tell you.....I am the only one that can hurt the moron",bakura was not pleased as he found a cut on ryou's wrist thanks to malik's twisted mind,"fine,you can finish him while I kill mine",malik says not to happy seeing as he had just started to torture ryou,"by the way,yours is downstairs taid to a chair"bakura informes malik with a smirk in his face,as he sees malik leaves he turns to ryou with a dagger in hand and says,"now.....where should I start".  
(end of flashback)  
'ok so maybe bakura wasn't such a good heroe but.....oh forget it,I don't care if the only thing he wanted was to bring me pain,I want him back'I knock on the door and wait and wait and knock again to my surprisse a crying marik greets me at the door,he was trying not to show it but it was clear that he had been crying,I search for any visible cuts or brusses but found near to none and the ones that are there were at least two weeks old,I should know,bakura had done that to me so many times that I can actually tell how much longer it will take for the cut to be nearly gone,'it seems like malik is off on vacation' I tell myself as I look around to find everything clean,no blood on the floor,no broken objects,'then why is he cryin?'I can't help but wonder that as I see his face,for all I knew those two hated each other.  
he finally speaks as he sits down on the couch right by my side,"malik left",I was expecting it so I say the only thing that came into my mind,I hadn't even thaught the whole thing through as I find that the words were out of my mouth,"I thaught you hated him"he looks at me with a look that scream 'are you stupid?',"no,me and marik actually were on good terms,we just didn't show it,if you came looking for your lover then I have nothing to say except that he went malik"we both look at the floor as if it were the only thing we could do,and maybe it was,I look again at marik and find that he is fighting tears,"well then,want to help me find them?"he looks at me,and in his eyes I can see so much pain,confussion,anger,everything that I was feeling as well but I couldn't afford to show,"sure"is the only reply I get from him and whatever we were going to talk about next was eraised from my mind as he turns on the tv.  
  
ruri:asleep  
me:she's off ,so I will use this time for dancing (b4u)and this time don't mess me up  



	3. all the things she said

  
  
ryou's pov  
  
a week later me and marik were ready to leave,we had made it look as if we were escaping our lifes cause of our yami,no one could have imagined that we were really going after them,we desided on going to tokyo first,why?I don't really know but malik had said something about tokyo before he dessapear,so the most logical thing in our minds was to got there first.  
  
marik's pov  
  
I'm going insane without him,I just feel like breaking things and crying but with ryou I think we can find both of them,why?I don't know but something changed in him,either that or he was like this before bakura came around and after he left he just came back stronger than before.  
ryou has a spirit that clearly says "I don't care who you are cause I will have my way even if you try and stop me" but I don't think that he noticed that.  
  
ryou's pov  
  
bakura.....after that night,how can I explain this,sure I wanted to die and I nearly killed myself cause I couldn't imagine a life without you by my side,but after I fell asleep .....I don't know,I woke up knowing that you were gonna come back to me....last time I was close to feeling like this I was right so this time I know in my heart that you and me are going to be together forever,I know I sound like one of those school girls that you hated but I can't help feeling like this.  
we walk by many people as we make our way to the train that will take us to tokyo,I look at marik and see that he is in deep thaught as we enter the train so I go in front of him and guide him to a seat as he is clearly in another place  
  
marik's pov  
  
I see ryou taking the lead and guiding me to a seat,were are we?oh yes the train,did I just spaced off thinking of my yami again?that song that you were playing the day before you left,I still have it in my mind and play it over and over again,I remember you when you tried to play the melody of the song in the piano  
(flashback)  
out of sight  
out of mind  
out of time  
to decide  
/malik whats wrong?why are you listening to that type of music?I thaught you hated it/  
do we run?  
should I hide?  
for the rest  
of my life  
/malik/  
can we fly?  
do I stay?  
we could lose   
we could fail  
no....I actually like them....  
in the moment   
it takes  
to make plans  
or mistakes  
/ok,but why are you crying?/  
this song....it reminds me of something  
(end of flashback)  
if I would have only known that that song was a way of yours to tell me that you were afraid,but of what?I never gave you a reason to be afraid,was there something that you didn't want to tell me?.  
"do you want something to eat?"I hear ryou asking me that but I can't seem to have the power to answer,so I just nod a yes and let him guide me to a restaurant....restaurant?when did we get here?how long I been in myb own world remembering him?it doesn't matter.  
we go inside this restaurant and I can't seem to understand why I was here in the first place,then it happened,the song the one that was playing in his room is playing in here as well,yet it was sang by this girl with a really beautiful voice,she sings better than the real singers if you ask me,I smile at the girl and she just winks and call the waiter after she gets off the stage and whispers something to his ear,I can't say that I'm not tempted to know but I don't have the rod with me,'just another thing malik took with him',I say to myself as ryou asked what I was going to eat,I look at the menu but nothing seems to make sence to I just tell him the first thing that I read not even knowing what it is and he just nods and looks at the stage were the girl had just been a few minutes before as if he was waiting for her to come back,which she does a few minutes later looking prettier than before,she checks something and then leaves the stage once more and walks in the direction that our table was placed,'oh RA I hope she doesn't come and talk to us'I pray to myself as I see the girl getting nearer,'I am SO not in the mood for this'  
  
me:thats it for now  
ruri:are you gonna go cry,again?  
me:you know it   
ruri:your hopeless  
me:ruri....you should know by now,I'm a lost cause if I ever where a cause  
  



	4. I can be all you need

me:first thing,the poem was written a LONG time ago,like a month before we meet,second I don't doubt your feelings for me....so,what was I talking about?oh well,remember ea I love you   
ruri:and she forgot to mention that she found faygo.....lucky me VV NOT!!!!!!!!!  
me:but I'll wait.....I still am dreaming of that day   
  
marik pov  
  
as the girl gets closer I see that she is a real beauty,an angel with dark hair,blue eyes and a beautifull voice that any of those fake singers of today just don't have anymore,if I weren't so in love with malik I would have taken over her mind and made her fall for me like all the other fan girls that I have.  
just looking at her I can feel my old self coming back,I feel much stronger to face the world as she sits down and seems ready to talk.  
  
normal pov  
  
"hi"came the greeting of a girl that seemed to feel to familiar with the two,"hi....."was the reply she got from ryou who was not only nervous but also curious as to why that girl was there talking to them as if they were friends,just then she looks at marik ,"whats wrong malik?and why did you changed the hair?don't get me wrong,you look great but you know I liked it spiked",marik and ryou exchanged looks of disbelifes and then marik desided to ask the question that was in both of they're minds,"you know malik and bakura?were are they?and whats your name?"the girl looked at the two as if they had lost whatever sanity the duo had left and then asked,"who am I?!?!who are you guys,if you say that your not malik and bakura?!".  
  
ryou's pov  
  
great,whats going on here,first this girl appears out of nowhere and acts all friendly,I mean is she trust worthy?well she has to be if she is my koigoro's "friend",maybe I should explain things to her,she could help us find bakura and malik,"I am ryou and this malik look alike is marik,we are the psychos.....how can I say this?"just as I was about to answer my own question ,she speaks as if she had read my mind "lovers?!.....so you to are the ones,I see,come back at midnight and I'll be able to help you two",I can't believe our luck,we stop to eat in the first place we see and we find some help to find our lovers,I'm so happy at this moment that I could shout to the world everything that bakura means to me  
  
marik  
  
I can't believe it,she is going to help us but who is she,this is too much for me to take "whats your name?"she turns around and gives me a smile,not a happy one,actually it is quite sad,like she feels sorry for us,I wonder....what does she knows that makes her look at us like that?"my name is ashira"then turns around and walks off back to the stage and plays a random song that someone had requested.  
just as we start eating she sings something that trully gets to me,"I am a human and I need to be love,just like everybody else does",I eat as fast as I can so I can talk to her again but before I finish she dessapears,I ask the owner and all he tells me is that she will come back at midnight.  
  
me:ok I know that was short but I shouldn't even have been writting this  
ruri:yur father will be mad at you again  
me:like I care anymore  
ruri:fine,whatever....lost cause  
me:I know   
ruri:not you,baka....would you listen for once,I meant your homework not you!!!!!!!!  
me:I love you ea,kaiken......two years,eleven months and some weeks counting  



	5. knock knock,whos there?

me:since I'm afraid of lawyer (and doctors)and I haven't put this then........I guess I have to today  
ruri:she doesn't own anyone in yugioh,vv.....but I wish she did  
  
marik's pov  
  
we were out in the town all day and we were going to go back to that restaurant to meet that girl again,as we enter we see that the place is full and apparently that girl has almost as many fans as I do,'I wonder.....are they here for the food or for her',I say to myself as I see more people talking about her than actually eating,ryou apparently didn't seem to care and I don't really blame him,we sit down in a table that had been reserved for us,'I guess she likes us',talking to myself was getting boring so I try and start a conversation with ryou,unfortunally my brain seemed to have gone off with malik because its not helping me at this moment to think of anything to say,just as I'm about to give up hope I hear someone say "what will you two be having?"I look up and it was our waiter,yet again I was stuck with making a quick meeal dession,I really don't care what I get cause I really don't like to eat,I just do in front of everyone so they won't go into the "it isn't healthy for you not to eat"talk,its only good to hear it when it comes from malik cause he knows that I like him that why sometimes,the way that he tries and protect me from myself is kinda cute,I wonder when this change really took place?I look at the menu again and just say the first thing that I read,I guess it must have been something to eat cause the next thing that she did was walk away,I look at ryou trying to decide what mood he's in,and see if I can talk to him or not,I get nothing,at the moment he wasn't even there for all I knew,he was clearly in the same trance I was on the train this morning,'I wonder,what is he remembering?'.  
  
ryou's pov  
  
'how long has it been bakura,how long since I last heard your voice?it seems like forever,like years have already past and I fear that if you see me that you won't recognise me,yeah it feels that long,thought I doubt that its been more than a month since this whole thing started'I ponder and look at marik who was looking everywere just to find something to amuse himself with,I decided that if I want to eat tonight I better say something and keep everything that has to do with fire out of his reach,"do you know what time it is?"yeah I know its a bad starter but its better than nothing.  
  
marik's pov  
  
'wow!!!, ryou talked....amesing....ok better answer,wait what was the question?'I just look at him for a couple of seconds and just say the first thing that comes to mind,"uhhh,what was the question?",he sweat droped and then starts to laught,'why is he laughting?am I that funny when I'm confused?',so I decide to ask him and all I get in return is him falling of his chair laughting like a mad man,just as I was about to call the psycho place that my sister wanted to send me to last month,he gets up and just tells me that its an inside joke,great thats all that I need right now,not only did we got stares from people but he was starting to lose it too, guess today's just one of those days that I have to pretend to be normal,wait a minute I've never been or pretended to be normal,unless you count last month when me and malik were on the mall and he started to laught like a madman and people were staring at us and I had to pretend to have some sanity so I took him to the car were he started to make out with me and latter told me that that was his way of getting me out of that "RA forsaken place full of morons and even more morons" safe to say that he doesn't like shopping or staying far from my mouth either' just as I was about to say something the waiter came back with our food,'wonder which one is mine,those things look good,wait am I hungry?how can it be,I ate three days ago?!'  
  
ryou's pov  
  
'oh man that was funny,it was the same look that bakura gave me when he was confused,which was really rare to see him like that but still funny and cute'I look at marik and see that he was about to say something when I see our food,and once more I see him confused,'why is he confused?'the waiter hands us our food and then leaves,leaving us with nothing to say and with only one thing to do,eat,15 minutes latter we had both finished our meal,we see the waiter and ask her what time it was,it turns out that it was12:30 am,and no ashira was nowere in sigh,"what should we do?"I ask marik while looking around and seeing that some pleople were lookin inpatiantly torwards the stage.  
"well the only thing we can do is stay and wait maybe we should ask the manager whats going on"was marik's responce,'marik is right,if anyone knows were the girl is it has to be him'I stand up and look for someone to ask them were he could be,when the man that we saw this morning aproaches us and signal us to follow him,as we follow him we are led to the backstage were her dressing room is,"she won't come out,I figure that if she saw you two she would,so hurry up and make her sing,the people are getting inpatiant out there"he tells us and then leaves,as marik is about to knocks on the door we can hear voices in there,more than the girl alone,could it be?,"marik wait"I wisper to him and he looks at me and gives me a weird look,it seems like he hadn't listen to the voices,I guess they were to low for him to hear,"theres someone in there,it could be marik and bakura"its kinda hard to tell if its them cause the voices are just a little bit above a whisper.  
  
marik's pov  
  
'why should I wait?if its malik than I want him now,and wait for what?we are not the ones that left,they are',I knock on the door as loud as I can and ryou just looks at me with a face that says "why did you do that?",I'm sure that that was the same thing that was going throught his mind at the moment,I hear some runing in the room and the ashira saying "I'll be right there" after a couple of moments the movement ceised and ashira opened the door and we whent in,I'm dying to know to if it was my malik in here a few minutes ago, thats probably hidding along with bakura somewere inside the dressing room,so I ask her,"who was here a couple of minutes ago?"she seemed taken back by my question but yet she had seen it coming,"it was just me,I had to get ready and you caught me in the middle of getting dressed",_right_ like I'll believe that,"then who was here talking to you?" I get a lot of dirty looks from both of them but I really don't care,I hate not knowing things and being left in the dark and I don't care what they think,"oh...that was just me talking to myself"I gotta hand it to her,she could be a great actress,but I know better and I can tell when people are lying to me,even if I don't show it,all my life I've been lied to so I know when someone is,"don't mess with me cause I know that you were with someone in here just a few minutes ago,now tell me were they are"she seems to be breaking and just when I think that she is about to talk,her manager comes in and she goes out to perform.  
  
me:I have nothing much to say,except that I'll make more stories/poems tomorrow,bye now  
  



End file.
